Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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