you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
