My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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