he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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