so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
