PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
