thus making me awesome and them whores
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
