No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
