names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize