her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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