i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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