So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
