Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize