imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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