Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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