Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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