we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize