Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

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(210): View more from Texas

I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

(609): View more from New Jersey

dont start drinking without me

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana

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(727): View more from Florida

Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...

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