I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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