He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
