Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
