yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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