hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
