East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
