Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
