k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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