Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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