If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
