I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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