Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
