I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
