The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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