Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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