she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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