Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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