after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize