he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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