I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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