I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
