Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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