At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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