literally had 100 drinks last night.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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