Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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