I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
