My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
