Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
