No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is the high leading the old right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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