He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
