the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
