i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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