Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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