Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
