is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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