i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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