so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
