:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need moral support for this bender
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
