And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
