we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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