Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
