The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
