I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize