pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
