I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Enjoy the penises
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
