I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
