i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
