I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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