I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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