Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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